JOY
The fear of being found.
Life lived without a sound.
My reticence
Made perfect sense
But built a wall, a silent wall
And tied a tongue
That would have sung
Like you, the joyful singers.
I did not want to feel your skin.
Just to wear the clothes you're in.
Open the closet, my original sin.
But was I coming out or going in?
A touch illicit, desire implicit.
The feel of silk
Would always freeze
My heart but not my fingers.
Enjoy your freedom, smell the roses.
Arch your body in joyful poses.
Should I envy your smiles?
Your feminine wiles?
Not acted or studied
Not broken or bloodied
Not hated or feared
Its the taste of my tears that lingers.
It's no cause for joy
When the doctor says
"Congratulations!
It's a boy."
© Kate Sanders